Emotionally unavailable people are afraid of the consequences of being intimate with someone and ‘letting them in’.
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They’re afraid they’ll lose the relationship as soon as they’re vulnerable.
This is why a lot of emotionally unavailable people are afraid of abandonment/of being ‘left’ and so they don’t let themselves get intimate because they’re afraid of realising their fear.
Emotionally available people can cope beyond the stage of ‘newness’ and are not reliant on the sensation of drama or feeling like they are in danger of losing the relationship to feel desire.
They recognise that you need to nurture a relationship and let it steadily grow, whereas relationships with emotionally unavailable people tend to come in fits and starts, come to a standstill or regress.
When you’re emotionally available, you’re willing to emotionally engage on an ongoing basis.